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For folks who don’t know who Harriet Klausner is, a brief introduction. Here’s the full text of her review of my debut novel, CHILD OF FIRE:

In Hammer Bay, Washington, the ecomony is booming due to the toy factory; however, residents even those who work at the prime employer fail to realzie that some of their offspring can use magic.

Twenty Palace Society field agent Annalise Powliss hunts and kills rogue magic practitioners. Convicted felon Ray Lilly is her chauffeur, but they share a not so kind past as he betrayed her so he knows she plans to kill him at the most opportune time. The Society learns of the goings-on in Hammer Bay and led by take no prisoners Annalise plan to destroy the factory and kill anyone of any age who uses magic. However, the execution fails and Annalise is hurt; Ray must finish the assignment against a much more powerful sorcerer who sacrifices humans especially children to gain incredible amounts of power.

The key to this small town fantasy is the use of magic as collateral damage is not only acceptable it is preferable if needed to complete a mission. That premise ties the rogue and the Society together as innocent bystanders die in high numerical waves, which in turn brings a sense of realism to the exciting story line. The dysfunctional relationship between the driver and his boss enhances the tension of an exhilarating High Noon paranormal thriller.

Harriet Klausner

All spelling infelicities in the original; this is just a cut and paste.

As Klausner’s reviews go, this one is better than average. Yes, it appears to have been written as quickly as possible with little regard for spelling or how it reads. Yes, some details are wrong; Ray isn’t anyone’s chauffeur, although he is driving the beater van at the start of the book. However, most of the plot details are correct, which isn’t always a given in Ms. Klausner’s reviews. However, she did give my book her lowest review: only 4 stars. For her, that’s practically a slam.

So, yeah. Her reviews are not insightful and some this year she will post her 30,000th on Amazon.com. That’s, er, a lot. I’ve heard that some times she posts as many as six reviews a day; how many books could you speed read in a day?

But whatever, right? No harm done… unless you’re the sort of person who’s Bothered By Things. See this 2012 “investigation” into Klausner’s reviews, which discovered that she received free ARCs from publishers, gives them positive reviews, then hands them off to her son to sell for COLD HARD CASH.

Nevermind that The Strand bookstore is floor to rafters with resold ARCs from other book reviewers. Nevermind that there’s no difference in what Klausner does and what other reviewers do besides scale. Apparently, she’s a woman reviewing badly for nefarious purposes and a group of people have begun to follow her around and badmouth her reviews. That link takes you to Sharon Lee’s new book Carousel Sun; how pleased would you be to discover that, on the week your book comes out, Internet Melodrama is breaking out on the book’s Amazon page that has nothing to do with the author. (Buy her book, folks, to help soothe that pain.)

[Edited to add: There are, as of this writing, 46 comments under Klausner's review, many justifying the decision to follow Klausner from page to page to taunt and mock her including one comparing her to Timothy McVeigh(!). Ugh.]

And if you think that’s the only review this self-appointed posse has hunted down and attacked, you would be wrong!

You might think I would be upset about what Harriet does–write universally positive reviews so she can continue to churn out incomprehensible reviews on books she’s barely skimmed for a few thin bucks, but once again you’d be wrong. My take is this: It’s a hard hard world. If she can make a few bucks (nobody is getting rich selling ARCs on fucking half.com) for herself and her family, and if publishers want to keep sending review copies to her, let them. As sins go, this isn’t half so terrible as the moving flame war hitting the Amazon pages of author after author.

Klausner-stalkers, find something useful to do. Advocate. Make something. In fact, Instead of reviewing Klausner’s work (fish -> barrel) write your own, and make them good. If your lives are so comfortable that a minor transgression like this annoys you so much, give thanks to whatever deity you worship and go volunteer at a food bank.

Because this thing where you follow a woman from page to page to insult her? That’s just sad.

#SFWApro

Mirrored from Twenty Palaces. You can comment here but not there.

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
mizkit
Feb. 8th, 2014 10:29 pm (UTC)
I was gonna say, for being Klausnered that's pretty coherent.

I was also going to say I don't know why she makes people so angry, but mostly it's that I don't know why people want to spend so much time and energy being angry about her. There are so many better things they could be spending their passion on. Like not hating, for one. :/
burger_eater
Feb. 9th, 2014 07:12 am (UTC)
Well, you know, being shitty to women on the internet: It's always totally justified!
beth_bernobich
Feb. 8th, 2014 11:06 pm (UTC)
The anti-Klausner people showed up on my previous book, too. As you said, they need to find something useful to do.
burger_eater
Feb. 9th, 2014 07:13 am (UTC)
Gah. I'm sorry to hear it. Then again, it's a good reason to link to your own Amazon page. :)
beth_bernobich
Feb. 9th, 2014 02:38 pm (UTC)
Indeed. *g*
(Deleted comment)
burger_eater
Feb. 9th, 2014 07:15 am (UTC)
I like looking at the one-star reviews. If they say things like: "This book had two men kissing!" I know it's for me. Not because I'm a big fan of reading about kissing, but because if that's the worst thing they can say...
muirecan
Feb. 12th, 2014 07:45 pm (UTC)
Ooh look it appears that zombies are real. They amble around mindlessly after Klausner.... ::sheesh:: They are definitely brain dead idiots.
burger_eater
Feb. 12th, 2014 07:51 pm (UTC)
Better this than being active in politics, I think.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )