A large duck (burger_eater) wrote,
A large duck
burger_eater

Small decisions

I've been thinking a lot lately about small decisions and how much they shape our lives.

Everyone understands the power of the big decisions: who will we marry? Where will we live? Have kids or not? What career should I choose? Those are the simple (note: "simple" is not the same as "easy), powerful choices that have lasting effects on us. Sure, we can change them with divorce or a second degree or even a moving van and security deposit, but they're the big decisions.

But what about the little decisions? What should I have for breakfast? Should I check my email again, ten minutes after the last time? Should I write that post about the Saturday morning cartoons I watched as a kid?

All of these tiny decisions make up a huge part of our lives, not individually, but in drifts, like snow flakes. How many times will I have cold pizza or leftover pasta for breakfast rather than something healthy? How many times will I decide to watch some TV show rather than get out of my chair? And since I forgot to pack my lunch today (which happens about once a month) what should I order off the menu?

At this point, the avalanche of small dipshit choices are ruling my life. I have a piece of toast instead of going without. I ride the bus all the way home instead of getting off early and walking. I read my f-list at lunch instead of going for a walk. Or working on the book.

The large choices in my life have been made, and they're good ones. My wife is fantastic and I'm incredibly lucky to be a father to this little boy. I have a book coming out next year, finally, and will quit my day job if I can. I'm even relatively happy with the city I live in.

It's the little things I have to get under control.
Tags: reasons i suck
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