A large duck (burger_eater) wrote,
A large duck

Bad Hats and other calamitous thoughts

There are two things in my life that don't go together well.

1) A wife who thinks people should always wear hats outside.
2) My big head.

No joke: it's hard to find a hat that fits me, which means I've worn many uncool baseball caps in my time. The latest and longest lasting was a bright red thing with the name "Terry" stitched across the front. My name isn't Terry. It's bad enough to walk around with a name on your clothes, but it's worse when it isn't even your name.

Anyway, I have a cap that fits (pretty much) and doesn't look too bad. But just yesterday Salad Eater brought home a new one for me to try on.

The second worst thing about this hat? It fit.

The absolute worst thing? How it looks.

Yeah, that's a hula dancer on the front, and yeah, the grass skirt she's wearing is made of brown thread.

No, I will not cut off the fringe, because no, she's not wearing underwear.

And my wife gave me this. You know, she says she loves me....
Tags: reasons i suck, the wife

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