I wish I were working on the polish right now. It's sitting on the table not four feet from me, and I have to pick up the boy in 45 minutes. Christ, I already put in four hours todya. Isn't that enough?
Let me answer that for you: No, not today it isn't. My agent wants it in October and I'm not sure I can finish three hundred pages in two weeks, not with the amount of work each page requires.
Here's my helpful, non-partisan political suggestions for the day: Move elections to the weekends, both Saturday and Sunday. The historical reasons for having them on Tuesday don't hold any more. Let's make it easy for people to vote.
Second: Shorten the primary system and randomize it. Sorry, New Hampshire, but you're not going to be first any more. I think we should have four months of primary leading up to the conventions in late August, then hold the presidential elections on the first full weekend in November. Which states would vote on which weekends would be decided by lottery, just like the NBA draft. Each of the weekends would have a set number of states that would vote, but it would be different every year.
"And... for the second and final slot on Independence Day weekend, we have..."
Draws card from bin, looks at it, then shows it to the camera.
"Ouch! That's gotta hurt for the Beaver State, John."
"That's right, Chuck. They were the very last draw four years ago, and this time they got stuck in a holiday vacation slot. Looks like they won't be getting much campaign attention this year!"
And all ad revenue from the broadcast would go into the federal treasury.
One of the recurring themes around the Eater household is my wife's attempts to support me in my writing. She looks at the stack of pages I have to read through, or looks at a calendar, and she says something like: "Why don't you skip [insert household/family responsibility here] to work on your book? I can take care of it for you."
Now, it's very, very rare that I agree to this. As much as Salad Eater wants to support me and give me time to do my work, I keep telling her that this isn't a one-time thing (please, please let this not be a one-time thing!!!). Hopefully, I'll be working on books and under deadline for the rest of my life, and I don't want to establish a routine where she does the dishes extra nights or puts Mango Eater to bed or whatever. I don't want that to be where we set the bar for normalcy.
She's a giving person. Too giving. I sometimes find myself in the strange position of asking her not to be so nice to me.
Did I say I had 45 minutes with Everyone Loves Blue Dog? I meant twenty minutes.