Rather than look back at this time of year, I will look forward...

This year, for the first time ever, I will predict the future.  But not for myself!  I am going to choose a notable public figure and lay out, right here and now, for you, his or her future. 

For 2008, I choose:



Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich!!

First, let me study the patterns in the potato chip crumbs at the bottom of my Jimmy John's sandwich wrapper, which reveals that in 2009:

Aliens will spirit Blago from a prison cell, replacing him with a standard model Contrition-bot.  Aboard the mothership, advanced neuro-empatho-surgical techniques and smoke box narco inhibitors will turn his thuggish malice and narcissism into a diamond-hard stoic evil.  Once that process is complete, he's be dropped through a time chute into the past to shape human civilization for the coming alien invasion. 

Yes, Rod Blagojevich will become...



Really, it's obvious when you think about it.  .