As I've mentioned before, I'm contractually obligated to provide an author photo to Del Rey. "It shouldn't look posed" is pretty much the only advice they gave me.
So, I bought Salad Eater a really nice camera and, on my last full day at her parents' house, managed to drag her outside for a quick photo shoot.
Like most people, I don't like the way I look in pictures. Unlike most people, I have damn good cause to dislike the way I look. Still, a contract is a contract, and I don't think I'm going to get out of this one. So, like
But first, this is my favorite author photo:
It's very stylish and clean, doesn't look staged and is generally cool. It doesn't hurt that the author (Judith Berman) has written a great novel so on so forth. But that photo is just a great choice. If I thought I could get away with something like that, I'd stick a fish hook through a wine cork and stab my ear with it.
Anyway, the choices (and a poll) are behind the cut.
Warning: Do not view these pictures if you have a glass (and therefore easily cracked) monitor!
Picture one: Me trying to work something out of my teeth.

Picture two: I call this one "Meet the Pores"

Picture three: Showing off my part.

Picture four: Unibrow? What's that?

Picture five: We don't know each other well enough to be this close

Picture six: Srs ritrs dont smile

Which picture would be the least disastrous author photo?
Thanks for voting! And if you think one or more would be better in B&W, let me know.