A large duck (burger_eater) wrote,
A large duck
burger_eater

Adoption

Having read Salon.com's Article on mothers who gave up their children for adoption during the years between WWII and Roe v. Wade, I could kick myself for being stupid.

I was adopted during those years, and I've never really questioned the idea, which I heard all my life, that my biological mother gave me up willingly.

I had a few uncomfortable moments while reading The Kid by Dan Savage. He describes the tearful scene where the mother of his son lets them carry her baby away, and his own attempts to console her. He also talks about the way adoptions used to be done--mothers were not even allowed to hold their babies after they delivered them. The babies were just whisked away.

Is that what happened to me? I've never been in contact with my birth mother--have never even tried to be--but it was easy to shrug off that passage in Savage's book. Who knows how widespread the practice was? Who knows if that really happened to us?

When I was typing that last sentence, I originally wrote "really happened to her and me?" It felt very strange to change that to "us".

But that article is painful.

Now I'm left wondering what I owe to my biological mother, if anything. Should I try to find her? Register somewhere so that she can find me if she looks? I don't have the money to buy my full records from the Catholic adoption services, but shouldn't I make some effort, just in case she would like to see pictures of her grandson? My mother and father didn't live to see him--and honestly I can't see why that should matter, but it kinda does.

Feeling kinda weird here.





Oh, and if the contest is a goofy idea, let me know
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